We all have experiences that change us. Sometimes they are large in scope, sometimes they are minor. I believe everything in life happens for a reason and we are faced with experiences that are meant to teach us. Many times we are presented with opportunities to become more patient, more understanding, or even kinder. Everyday we are face situations in which we can grow and evolve from. Everyday.

For example, when my younger sister Kelly died (8 years ago) my whole world shifted. She was in a car accident and was killed instantly. This was such a tragic event for so many reasons. She was 18 years old and happily celebrating her recent graduation. No one could have expected this and it shook everything I thought I knew about life. This experience taught me so many lessons and many that I still am trying to learn. The most prominent one being how precious life is and how it can be taken away in an instant.

This past weekend I had my latest transforming experience. I attended my first residency for my DBA program. I was nervous, excited, and anxious to go but still had doubts about my ability to successfully complete this program. After the first hour I knew I was in the right place. Have you ever connected with an experience in a way that engaged you more than ever? Yes, that was my experience as well. As the next few days moved forward I evolved into a confident and eager learner. The doubts were gone. The fear was gone and were replaced with feelings of support and guidance. I met so many people that are further ahead in their programs and also met all of my faculty and classmates that will walk this journey with me for the next 3 years. I am different and have no doubt that I will succeed.

What was your last transformational experience? How did you evolve because of it?

For goodness sake….be gentle with yourself. It’s OK. I give you permission.

If you’re like me you might be hard yourself at times (ok a lot of times). I just want everything possible to be pretty, peaceful, and copasetic.

I want everything to be easy. Well, we all know how these things turn out. Life isn’t easy. It’s not fair and we get hurt sometimes. We do and say things we later regret.

A couple of weeks ago I began a new educational journey. It’s a full time program (not my choice-the program is only offered full time). I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be time consuming. I knew it would be one of the biggest challenges I would face and I was up for the challenge. What I’m learning thus far is outreaching what I’m studying in class. I’m learning that working full time and being in school full time leaves little time for other areas in my life. Relationships are incredibly important to me so devoting time for those dear in my life is a priority. Working out is another priority. (I’m one of those people that needs exercise in life.) All of the other areas I’m choosing to be gentle with myself. It’s OK if I go to bed with dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. It’s OK if I wear my hair in another ponytail. It’s OK if I wait another day to vacuum.

As long as I’m present to the ones I love I’m choosing to be gentle with myself.

What areas in your life could use a little more gentleness?

For those that know me know I’m often working towards a lofty goal. Being a very goal oriented person creates a sense of unease when I’m not working towards one. Goals keep me focused and I enjoy working towards something that is challenging and that will allow me to grow.

I’ve set educational goals for myself in the past obtaining my master’s degree. I’ve set personal goals such as running half-marathons and walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day 60 mile walk (twice). I’ve set financial goals to buy a home (accomplished this twice). Some have called me crazy but my goals are mine and when I set out to meet a goal I do my best to reach it.

I am now pursuing my doctorate degree. Specifically, a doctorate in business administration with a specialization in leadership. As I’ve grown (in age) I’ve better understood my passion for education and for higher education. I love to read and learn and when I arrived at Capella and learned I could earn a degree at no cost it was an easy decision to make.

The decision was easy to make but, that doesn’t suggest I haven’t been fearful, nervous, or even doubtful that I could accomplish such a monumental task. Through many conversations with friends and family members who have reminded me, inspired me and supported me-I am eternally grateful. I’ve worked most of those feelings through but know that determination and ambition have taken me far in life. Great achievements come from grand goals.

What journey are you on?

We all want to reach our goals. For some of us it’s losing weight, eating healthier, making better financial decisions, etc. Reaching those goals are often a challenge and we often sacrifice in order to reach them.

Today, I spoke with a learner who is almost finished with her PhD and she had faced and won many of the challenges that she has faced during her six-year journey. She shared with me that she recently arrived at a crossroads. She had a balance she had to pay in order to continue with her education. She could do that or instead pay for a major dental repair.

She shared with me that’s she missing her two front teeth and for her continuing with her education was more important than the visual ridicule she felt she would face. When I heard her share her passion to finish her education despite the challenges I couldn’t stop thinking about the sacrifice she had made. I cannot imagine being faced with or even needing to face that kind of sacrifice. To be honest, I cannot say I would have made the same choice she did. 

What has been your biggest sacrifice you’ve made?

An area of growth for me (as I have many) is living in the present. I pride myself on the ability to multitask and have often relied on it to manage all I do. Today, I was offered an opportunity to care for a friend’s Angel of a son who is 5 months old. For you mothers and fathers know that this age requires very close attention. The attention I was excited to give. My son, just this week turned 22 and has long required a close level of attention.

While caring for this little guy I was reminded the importance of providing my full attention. No, no dangers presented themselves. I simply found myself captured in the joy of interacting with such an inquisitive (and well, just plain cute) little one. We had profound conversations, snuggled, and played and for the time we spent together I was able to not consider any stressors nor pressures I’ve been focused on previously.

For those who know me this is not an easy task. My mind typically is juggling many thoughts of personal, work, financial, and relational topics. My hope is with great practice living in the moment will become a natural state instead of a desired one.

A common theme you will find while reading this blog is the frequent reminders of opportunities to learn and develop as a human being. I strive for better and encourage you to do the same.

How often are you living in the moment?