Last week I attended a meditation workshop, and it has brought me back to appreciating quiet, peaceful moments. I have tried meditation, most frequently guided meditation in the past but haven’t incorporated it into daily or even weekly practice. I was reminded of how blissful it can be last week and reminded me of the meditation I had done last fall with Deepak Chopra while attending the Oprah weekend (I know, right!).

I was reminded of the easily accessible (and free) apps you can download and how you can incorporate meditation anytime anywhere. A concern and challenge I had told myself was how can I incorporate one more activity in my already overfilled life. When I examined dead times in my day, it was easy to consider the bus ride I take each morning and afternoon that can be easily spent meditating. So, alas I downloaded a couple of recommended apps (thanks to the corporate executive from the meditation session), and I was off. I’ve spent the last week using the apps (minus the weekends-whereas I am still in practice to incorporate meditation time and space) and have enjoyed the sessions. I have found a greater level of focus, relaxation, and peace. The feelings have been enjoyable and look forward to incorporating meditation into a daily practice (including weekends). The apps that were recommended were “Calm” and “Insight Timer.” Both are available for free via Apple’s Istore and Google Play Store.

Since my last post, I have lost a total of 7 lbs and while this has been a wonderful accomplishment and lovely feeling. Some of my clothes (especially pants) fit differently (YAS!) I have old habits and negative thoughts when the scale does not reflect in my favor. Yes, I know that there will be weeks I do not loose weight-via the scale. Yes, I know that losing weight is hard and slow. Yes, I know that weight loss is a journey. However, a major stumbling block in my past efforts has been overcoming these weeks, especially if there are multiple consecutive weeks like this. An area for me to reconsider my thoughts, change my script, and focus on other areas than the scale is the latest challenge I am working through.

A mechanism that is helping is vocalizing my challenges through this blog and also using the 21 Lessons book as a workbook and not just a reading exercise. We’re all a work in progress and for me this journey is sure a series of thoughts and behaviors to progress from and to a new normal. Here’s to recognizing that and focusing on the positive.

Alas, the journey continues. I am feeling good. My energy and spirits are high, and my jeans are fitting slightly looser than the last time I wore them (YAY-small victories!)
My weight loss journey began months ago but officially began on February 23, 2015. This is important for me to note as it is the first day of the rest of my life. In the last few weeks, I have been I working hard to make life long changes and am finding habits are hard to break (duh!). Some important observations I’ve made:

• When I am tired my appetite increases, and I think more about food, which then motivates me to eat even if I am not hungry. I am learning to ensure instead I am rested. This means if I am tired I rest, even if that means rescheduling a workout to do so. I’m thankful for wellness rooms at work and the flexibility to use them to capture the rest I need. The problems that I had with sleeping have been addressed, and my quality of sleep has dramatically increased in the last six months. At times I continue to experience challenges with sleeping and not getting enough sleep but am working on it. This has been critical to my weight loss journey.
  • I have begun listening to my body. I have always listened to myself-intuition, my aches and pains, but my hunger and appetite have not always been cared for. I am learning to listen more to my stomach. When I am hungry I eat (healthy choices) and when I am beginning to feel full I stop. This is a new experience for me (again duh!) but as one who has tended to eat larger quantities than necessary this is an important step for me.
  • I need less food that I thought I did. Preparing my meals (especially lunches) has never been a strong suit and often I have prepared more food than I needed thinking it had to provide me energy for many hours. Also, I thought options are important. What if I didn’t feel like eating that??
  • When I get overly hungry, I make poor food choices, junk food, fast food, etc. Keeping myself nourished is essential.
  • I am reframing the relationship I have with food. No longer is it a comfort for me but a source of nourishment. If I am eating junk food, it is not nourishing my body; it is being used for other purposes. Those to be discovered during this journey.
  • I feel better when eating many smaller meals days. Case in point, I ALWAYS eat breakfast. For me, if I do not eat I get cranky (snickers commercials anyone-that’s me totally). I eat snacks in between meals and enjoy fruit and nuts that will sustain me.
  • Fruit has become a way to curb sugar cravings. Desert used to be a mainstay for me, and I would even enjoy desert after breakfast some mornings. I like most people LOVE sugar but detest the spike in blood sugar I experience.
  • Results and numbers are important to me and am motivated by them. This is wonderful for the weeks I weigh myself, and I’ve lost weight. However, this will require me to adjust my reaction during those weeks the scale is not reflective of weight loss. I need to prepare myself that this will occur, in fact, it is completely normal.

In addition to the above mentioned, I have begun reading A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson (a recommendation by a special person).

My journey is mind, body, and spirit induced and am finding this book to be an important element of my journey. I’m confident It’ll help me in changing the scripts I hold in regards to my thoughts, feelings, and actions I take regarding my food choices that ultimately affect my weight loss.

Now, to be completely honest these last few weeks have gone well, I would be remiss if I weren’t completely transparent. Most days I eat well, exercise, and follow my plan; however I did make a choice to eat more Cadbury Mini eggs than I should have last night. For me, beating myself up is a typical consequence but someone important reminded me today that I was not perfect, my choices will not be, and I am slowing making lifelong changes.

Here’s to another day, more revelations to come, and striving to be the very best of me I can be!

After much deliberation, I have once again decided to attack my weight problem. I am on a new journey. One that I have never taken before. I want to be the very best of me and know I cannot if I am not physically as healthy as I can be. For the most part, I am healthy. I have a strong immune system, rarely am not able to fight off a cold or flu. For the other part, I know my weight is not at the healthy place it should be or the place I want it to be. Now is the time to address it. All of it. All of which keeps me at a heavy weight. All of which that interferes with my ability to continue a weight loss program once I have started and finally, all of which that prevents me from achieving a healthy adult weight.

I have been heavy all of my life. It has become a normality for me. Genetically, weight is a challenge for many of the women in my family. However, I am no longer comfortable leaning on this. Another unhealthy script I have been using is….”You’re almost there” and “do the best you can with what you have.” I am the problem but better yet, I am the solution.

It is time for me to attack my weight problem head on, and that means for me, seeking answers, changing the script inside my head, and creating new routines. It also means listening to my body, learning to appreciate and love the physical aspects I possess. Most of all, it is important I use this opportunity to the very last time I walk this significant level of weight loss.

The journey will be long. The journey will be hard at times. Triggers and cravings will appear. I will be faced with participating in others’ food choices. I will need to work hard. I will need to push myself physically incorporate exercise regimes into my life year round instead of a few months here and a few months there. I will remember why exercise is a necessity for me, not only to assist me in losing weight but as a critical form of stress release.

Self-esteem is a major contributor and has been a challenge for me for many years. At 42, I feel the most esteemed I have ever felt, likely because of my accomplishments. However, it is time I recreate the energy that serves me, and I contribute to the universe. It is time I begin to love my body, despite the aspects I not yet love and of which are bigger (much bigger) than I would like.

I am feeling fearful of being judged, afraid I won’t succeed, vulnerable about what others might think or criticize. But most importantly I am determined and committed to doing what is right. Right for me, means including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual components of this journey. I am ready. Ready to face my fears, ready to feel vulnerable, ready to work hard, and ready to succeed.

I am changing the relationship I hold with food. No longer will food hold a comforting place in my life but a source of nourishment. No longer will I over eat until I feel uncomfortable. I will choose to eat smarter, smaller, and more frequent meals. I will maintain this pledge during my everyday life as well during meals I eat out at restaurants, as well as when I am traveling and during times I have less control over food choices. I will be prepared to address hunger in a healthy way instead of waiting too long and making poor food choices.

I write this today for two reasons, first to hold myself accountable to what I have put out into the universe. I know that big dreams require big goals and goals are more likely to be achieved if said out loud and to others. Secondly, with hopes of inspiring others to want more and to believe they can achieve more. I live my life with the mantra “when there is a will there is a way” and for me there is an incredible will. I know I can succeed and believe I can. Here’s to becoming Tina 2.0!

PS-Before pictures to be posted later on during the journey.

Wowza! It has been 14 weeks since I have posted in this wonderful blogging world AND so much has changed. I have changed, my outlook has evolved, my excitement for the future has grown exponentially, and my worldly aspirations have wildly increased. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years have all come and gone. My travels to Chile have come and gone, I have attended my third and final residency, and I have gained a beautiful new niece.

Life has been so generous to me. I am grateful beyond measure. My family, friends, colleagues, mentor, and instructors have been instrumental in my personal and professional growth. To you all, I THANK YOU!

I dream BIG. Therefore I have BIG goals. Life is more of an adventure than ever before I have signed a lifelong contract. 2015 expects to be the biggest ever. In six short months, I will be celebrating my biggest undertaking yet-my doctorate. Many opportunities will be open for me and I am preparing myself and considering so many options.

On this doctorate journey, I have grown far beyond I would have ever thought. While, I am still walking the DBA journey I cannot help but think about the new friends and colleagues I have gained. I can fondly say I have friends in so many locations around the country and a few very special ones around the world. I have traveled to the furthest place I have ever traveled and have realized my impact can be global. What a transition from two short years ago when I thought my stretch was likely to MN and the Midwest.

My travel intentions and a grand curiosity have been ignited. I am currently in consideration for my celebratory trip this Fall and am excited at such possibilities. I plan to one-day travel to such locales as Dubai, Bora Bora, Fiji, Bali, Italy, Nepal, Argentina, Peru, and the Dominican Republic among so many others.

Until then, my intention is to LIVE LIFE BIG!

And so another journey comes to a close. I have kept a gratitude journal for the last year choosing at least one aspect of my day/life that I am thankful for. It has been challenging to keep up as I have been working diligently to maintain all of my responsibilities and life events. As you might have noticed that I have made a mistake as I am posting my 365th day on technically the 366th day. I am not perfect and am thankful for that. My gifts and talents are my own and so are my misgivings.

I love myself. I love my life and I am eternally grateful for this gratitude journal. By taking these steps each day I have learned so much about life. I have learned that “things” don’t make me as happy as people or experiences do. I have learned that even on the toughest day life is pretty darn sweet. I have learned that life is richer than I ever knew. I have learned that I am one of the luckiest girls in the world. My life is so rich with love, family, health, employment, and education.

This next year will bring so much more and I am incredibly excited to be shifting into a new era of my life. Soon, I will be finished with school and will be passionately seeking my next set of opportunities, travel, love deeper, teach, and inspire others. Most of all my soul will continue to smile.

How will your life be different in the next year?

Boy, am I a lucky lady. I have SO many blessed friends and colleagues. My soul is filled with joy that I am able to share my days with people who are such amazing individuals. I have shared lunches, coffee dates, dinners, and movie dates with many of the wonderful ladies lately and I’d like to take a moment to express my gratitude.

I have such profound appreciation for a large (I know! I’m SO lucky) group of ladies in my life that support me, encourage me, challenge me, laugh at me, laugh with me, inspire me, motivate me, and most of all love me. I love you ALL! Thank you!

Who are those amazing people in your life you cannot live without?