After much deliberation, I have once again decided to attack my weight problem. I am on a new journey. One that I have never taken before. I want to be the very best of me and know I cannot if I am not physically as healthy as I can be. For the most part, I am healthy. I have a strong immune system, rarely am not able to fight off a cold or flu. For the other part, I know my weight is not at the healthy place it should be or the place I want it to be. Now is the time to address it. All of it. All of which keeps me at a heavy weight. All of which that interferes with my ability to continue a weight loss program once I have started and finally, all of which that prevents me from achieving a healthy adult weight.

I have been heavy all of my life. It has become a normality for me. Genetically, weight is a challenge for many of the women in my family. However, I am no longer comfortable leaning on this. Another unhealthy script I have been using is….”You’re almost there” and “do the best you can with what you have.” I am the problem but better yet, I am the solution.

It is time for me to attack my weight problem head on, and that means for me, seeking answers, changing the script inside my head, and creating new routines. It also means listening to my body, learning to appreciate and love the physical aspects I possess. Most of all, it is important I use this opportunity to the very last time I walk this significant level of weight loss.

The journey will be long. The journey will be hard at times. Triggers and cravings will appear. I will be faced with participating in others’ food choices. I will need to work hard. I will need to push myself physically incorporate exercise regimes into my life year round instead of a few months here and a few months there. I will remember why exercise is a necessity for me, not only to assist me in losing weight but as a critical form of stress release.

Self-esteem is a major contributor and has been a challenge for me for many years. At 42, I feel the most esteemed I have ever felt, likely because of my accomplishments. However, it is time I recreate the energy that serves me, and I contribute to the universe. It is time I begin to love my body, despite the aspects I not yet love and of which are bigger (much bigger) than I would like.

I am feeling fearful of being judged, afraid I won’t succeed, vulnerable about what others might think or criticize. But most importantly I am determined and committed to doing what is right. Right for me, means including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual components of this journey. I am ready. Ready to face my fears, ready to feel vulnerable, ready to work hard, and ready to succeed.

I am changing the relationship I hold with food. No longer will food hold a comforting place in my life but a source of nourishment. No longer will I over eat until I feel uncomfortable. I will choose to eat smarter, smaller, and more frequent meals. I will maintain this pledge during my everyday life as well during meals I eat out at restaurants, as well as when I am traveling and during times I have less control over food choices. I will be prepared to address hunger in a healthy way instead of waiting too long and making poor food choices.

I write this today for two reasons, first to hold myself accountable to what I have put out into the universe. I know that big dreams require big goals and goals are more likely to be achieved if said out loud and to others. Secondly, with hopes of inspiring others to want more and to believe they can achieve more. I live my life with the mantra “when there is a will there is a way” and for me there is an incredible will. I know I can succeed and believe I can. Here’s to becoming Tina 2.0!

PS-Before pictures to be posted later on during the journey.